Two Years Later, I’m in Love!

Today is my two year wedding anniversary with my husband. Two years + one night ago, I was freaking out. I mean, really freaking out. I called my best friend and said, “I need to see you.” We met outside of a restaurant at 10pm, and as soon as I saw her the tears started to stream. I hate to say it, but I felt like my life was ending.

We grabbed a booth as my friend ordered for us, because I obviously couldn’t complete a sentence without the waterworks. I sit there, drinking my water with lemon and staring at the table. Tomorrow was the day. I would be married. I kept telling my friend, the only one I could truly be honest with, “I don’t even like him! I don’t even like him!”  At the time, that’s all I could think…I was in a bit of a panic. I begged her to stop me, “Don’t let me get married tomorrow!”

To this day, I don’t know how she stayed so calm. She told me he wasn’t so bad, he loves me, and I love him too…I was just panicking. However, even she had her doubts I’m sure! Who wouldn’t if your friend begged you to be their accomplice to a runaway bride situation?

Once I settled down (mostly) we went to sleep at my house, in my bed. A single girl, one more night. I remember feeling like I was going to the doctor the next day, (Am I the only one that feels horribly nervous and sick when I have to go to the doctor?) and I could hardly sleep. It’s not that being single was so appealing to me, although I always enjoyed “doing my own thing”.

Finally, the morning came. I was calm, emotionless to a point. In fact, my bridesmaids kept saying, “How are you so calm right now?!?” I didn’t want to get married (or so my panic was telling me the night before), yet I couldn’t turn back now. Turns out, the day was incredible and magical and everything “they” say it contains. I was happy, and everyone was happy for us.

Fast forward two years – here we are, still married! You know how “they” say that the first years are the hardest in marriage? Well, that is certainly true for us. Certainly, certainly true. We went through horrid fights, and even somewhat recently the “D” word came up. I had sleepless nights, thinking of how unhappy I felt in marriage to him. There are so many embarrassing things that I would take back if I could. Since I can’t take them back, I’ll share them for the whole world to read. That makes sense, right? 🙂

I am thrilled to say that I have discovered the {not so secret} secret to loving my husband, and receiving his love. I won’t pretend to be a love guru, but I know that understanding how to love is so important for a marriage to flourish. It has been on my heart for a while to empower other women in their marriages. It is so pertinent to families and society to keep marriages together and thriving.

So, this blog is about my mistakes and my achievement in my own marriage. I hope you can find your own story in what I share, and create a greater connection and love in your own marriage.

 

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